Suburban Wino 2: The Wordpress Experiment

Diet = FAIL

August 28, 2009
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I’m a little chubby. It happens. What are you supposed to look like when you like food a lot?

Fall is a tough time, too. As the weather cools, I think about football season and what it brings with it: delicious tailgate food, cold beer, snacks, soft drinks in the stadium. It’s a recipe for disaster. Then Halloween candy…
“Oh, hello Thanksgiving? Nah, kick me while I’m down! Yes, there’s still some room in my throat for some gravy.”
December: Christmas parties, holiday parties; I think I even went to a Kwanzaa party once. We break out the best wine, make merry, and no meat or pie or meat pie is safe. Let’s put it this way: I lost 20 lbs. between January and March at the beginning of this year. Cause for congratulations? No- it’s an annual ritual.
So recently, I load the kitchen up with healthy food in an attempt to be proactive as the winter graze manifests: lean pork chops, chicken breasts, fish, potatoes, veggies, diet soda (’cause I MUST have soda), fruit, olive oil.
Okay, I’ve got pork chops. I have potatoes. I have oil. I have salt & pepper. I have flour.

Here’s my “healthy” meal: pan-fried pork chops, homemade french fries with pan gravy, turnip greens and tomatoes = FAIL.
I guess I’ll sleep okay. The oil was olive oil. The greens were, well, green. The french fries were baked (in copious amounts of oil). And, I did go to the gym before dinner.
Regardless, I feel a greater force is at hand, driving my primal instincts to store a superfluous layer of winter fat. Is there any validity to this? I know my doctor sure doesn’t buy it. But, I’m still planning on running that Thanksgiving half marathon. At this rate, I may just be able to lay down and roll to the finish line. At least my feet won’t get sore.
To binging and purging: Cheers, Sláinte, Salud, Prost, Skål, Konbe, and Kampai!