Suburban Wino 2: The Wordpress Experiment

Fiction? | February 11, 2011


Just a comment I left on the Pinot Noir Summit Facebook page (2/26/2011). Blog’s been neglected over the past couple weeks, as you stalwart few have noticed. Until blogging, blood/etc. donations, and eating Taco Bell pay a good salary, I’ll always have patches where the stupid paying job cuts into the fun hobby. Blame the fact that money buys awesome stuff and diapers.

I feel this comment could be a foray into underwhelming fiction…

One time, I lifted a trembling glass to my eager nostrils and deeply inhaled the smoky, earthy, vibrant aromas of a rare and heralded Burgundy…

…and then the glass bit my hand, and I realized that my peyote-induced Vision Quest in the So…noran desert had led me to mistake a Gila monster for a snifter of Grands Échezeaux. Fortunately, while the bite had snapped me out of the mind-altering effects of psychoactive alkaloids, the poison from the Gila monster bite had set me quite woozy, as a warmth and relaxation spread over my entire body, similar to that of consuming an entire bottle of Pinot Noir.

Oh, wait. I did consume a whole bottle of Pinot. And I’ve awoken on my living room floor, splayed out awkwardly with garnet-stained Ultima Burgundy glass in hand… 2,000 miles from the Sonoran desert.

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