Suburban Wino 2: The Wordpress Experiment

Booze in the News – November 18, 2010 | November 19, 2010


Hassling the Hoff since 2010.

Meet the Nouveau. Same as the Old-veau: Dammit. What a crappy title. I thought I’d try to show that I’m “cool and hip, yet sophisticatedly middle-aged” by fielding a really bad play on some Who lyrics; Who lyrics that have probably already been ruined by CSI: Des Moines or something. But I really struggled with this. “Nouveau-ver Beethoven” made me want to cut out the part of the brain that causes thinking. “Something Old, Something Nouveau” was about as clever as Jeff Dunham’s “comedy”. So, “Meet the New Boss, Same as the Old Boss” got bastardized horribly because I got lazy. And it sickens me…
…oh yeah, and the 2010 Beaujolais Nouveau came out yesterday. Stock up on it in case you run out of grape drink and vodka on Thanksgiving.*

China- The new hipsters: What’s happened to Pabst Blue Ribbon? It used to be nigh-undrinkable swill that’s served the purpose of getting one drunk when he couldn’t afford Old Milwaukee. It was reliably $1/can at bars that sympathized to the desperate situations of college kids in need of affordable liquid courage and inevitable abdominal pain. Then came the hipsters. “Let’s drink it to be cool and ironic,” they said, in their reprinted “vintage” Joy Division t-shirts and skinny leg jeans. Supply and demand, hipsters. Now PBR is $5 a can at bars. No matter, as I wasn’t going to order that crap anyway.
I guess it could be worse. The PBR brand has been totally reinvented in China as a high-end lager. One bottle: about $44 USD. The irony is delicious, but the beer isn’t, especially at that price. But at least we’re getting back at the Peoples’ Republic for Tsingtao*. I just hope the U.S. doesn’t bankrupt China with its exorbitant beer prices. My daughter will probably want her future overlords to have financial stability.
Yes. Alcohol was involved: Kudos to drunk Kentucky folks for inspiring a new form of institutional punishment for terrorists. I feel bad for this guy, but as my friend Van Burin would say, “with great beard comes great beardsponsibility.”
*I actually like these things. Beaujolais Nouveau is a fun Thanksgiving tradition, but it’s a bigger rip off at $13/bottle than Chinese PBR. Tsingtao is great with spicy Szechuan cuisine, but I bet they’re not shipping us the good stuff.

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