Suburban Wino 2: The Wordpress Experiment

Booze in the News – 8/20/2010 | August 20, 2010



Two weeks in a row. You impressed yet?

A Bridge Too Long: National and State government in Germany’s Mosel (a very famous wine-producing area, known for world-class Riesling) is going ahead with a project to build a bridge spanning the region. The idea is to relieve congestion and increase tourism in the area. The detractors of this project, known as the “Pro-Mosel” group, are fighting the potential eyesore, as it will take away from the Mosel’s scenic beauty. Yep, leave it to the Germans to take something pure and wonderful and screw it up. Remember how music used to be cool? I’m blaming all this auto-tuned crap on the Düsseldorf-based band that put robotic lyrics on the map. For shame, Kraftwerk. Who knew “Electric Café” would cause so much collateral damage?

Bursting their Bubbles: As humiliating to France as André the Giant getting bodyslammed at WrestleMania 3 by the Hulkster, new science has proven that the hallowed and traditional technique of pouring Champagne directly into a vertical flute is flawed. The loss of dissolved carbon dioxide has been scientifically-proven by physics geeks to be lessened by pouring the wine at an angle, à la the way you’d pour a beer into a tall, tilted glass to retain some head. Even more shocking is how little I care about this research. Besides, everyone knows the best way to pour Champagne is to cut out the middle-man and employ the direct “bottle-to-lips” method, resulting in the most-efficient manifestation of what scientists call “fizzy goodness in the tummy” syndrome.

Warm Springs, indeed: It’s a well-known fact (especially to residents of Georgia) that Franklin Delano Roosevelt spent a good deal of time in Warm Springs, GA, taking advantage of the natural hot springs to soothe his polio-riddled body. However, an NPR Planet Money podcast revealed that the rejuvenating waters of west-central Georgia were a secondary draw for the soon-to-be 32nd President. His first love: “stump juice”, aka, moonshine. Yep, FDR was supposedly sucking down white lightning- during Prohibition, no less- while away from Hyde Park. Personally, I speculate that his love of Peach State mountain dew (let’s see how many ‘shine synonyms I can fit in here) led to his push to repeal Prohibition. I’m going to go ahead and fully credit illegal Georgia booze with sound Presidential decision. In fact, I’m working on acquiring a case to send to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue immediately.
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