Suburban Wino 2: The Wordpress Experiment

Friday’s "Booze in the News" | August 13, 2010


An awefully clever, regular weekly segment that will probably run for one week, because I blew my wad on all the good stories this week. News- as you’d expect here- will lean towards the weird.

No longer just a crappy song by Toby Keith: A horse trainer in Saratoga, NY is convinced that a bottle of Guinness as part of his horses’ diets makes them perform better. Irishman Derek Ryan’s regime is intended to keep the thoroughbreds’ appetites up. One of the horses- Musket Man- finished 3rd in two legs of the Triple Crown on this boozy diet…makes me wonder why my bosses don’t let me drink Guinness at work. Isn’t my productivity low enough to get creative with the motivation, guys?? And while I’m not concerned by one beer getting these ponies drunk, keep in mind that most of them are around 2 years old. Is that 21 in horse years?

Scotland ditches haggis and does food right for once: Had it on my radar to mention, but wily blogger (and good egg) Sam from BrokeWino.com beat me to the punch in talking about Scottish brew firm BrewDog’s latest mad creation: “The End of History”. If a 50% ABV beer isn’t a fuzzy-enough experience for you, the “bottles” are actually taxidermy rodents. At last, passing out with that empty under your neck will be cuddly (as it’s always meant to be). Honestly, I’m curious about the DUI defense when the defendant argues that he “only had one beer.” And one’s about all you can afford…this brew costs $760 a bottle (though currently sold out).

The fermented equivalent of Mustmayostardayonnaise: giving BrewDog a run for “absolute best beer idea, ever”, Austrian Brewer Egger has fashioned suds with the addition of whey. The reason? Supposedly, the added nutrition from the cheese product in bottles of Wälder Senn bier helps the libido, preventing frisky bar flies from experiencing alcohol-induced letdown when it’s time to perform. And while the combination of beer and cheese may give many food-fetishists a stomach-driven stir in the britches, I’m not convinced that an alcoholic cheese drink is a good idea. I’m convinced it’s a great idea.

And- by the way- if you didn’t get the title of this snippet or the video didn’t make sense, watch these other Mr. Show clips for Stenson’s Mayostard and Vaunnie’s Mustardayonnaise. It will all come together.

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